“Vulnerability is the strongest state to be in. How boring would it be if we were constantly dominant or constantly submissive?”

  • vulnerable: capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt; open to moral attack, criticism, temptation; open to assault; difficult to defend.      Synonyms: defenseless; naked, wide open.
  • be: to exist or live; to occupy a place or position
  • pretend: to appear falsely, as to deceive; to make believe; to allege or profess especially falsely

Acting is being.  A good actor knows that being a character requires lots of work.  An extensive character background, a clear objective, a strong desire to win, etc. Pretending is easy and sometimes comedic, if the performer is really good at it.  However, pretending does little to affect an audience.

I remember my days of auditioning while taking tons and tons of acting classes and workshops in NYC and Los Angeles.  I finally received the big-eyed comment, “You are really good at this,” when I learned how to be vulnerable.  Ironically, it was probably the first time that I was not trying to be a good actor.  Instead, my goal was to just be honest.  It seems like an oxymoron – honest actor – but, honesty it required of great performances.  Those who have not really studied the craft have difficulty understanding this.  They will watch a great performance of another actor on stage, film, or YouTube then mimic another actor’s work.   I consider this cheating.

There is a way to create an authentic character, though. I have discovered that the goal is not to get the audience to feel something, nor is it to get them to laugh or cry.  The goal is to feel something that the audience can experience with you, with your character.  Actors should focus on being a great story teller and life giver to their character.  Laughter, tears, anger—any emotion the audience feels while watching a performance should be the result of their engagement and/or connection to the character(s) being portrayed.  Ideally, the audience should forget they are watching actors; they should believe that they are peeking into someone’s real life.

Personally, I love stoicism and strength.  I do not enjoy crying, nor do I like being angry or sad…especially in front of others.   In the past, I have avoided people who made me angry; I did not deal with them.  I did not like expressing emotional pain.  I preferred to appear (or to pretend) to be happy when angry.  I preferred to appear (or to pretend) aloof when bothered.  I preferred to be dismissive rather than confrontational.  I chose to pretend in this way because of pride.  It did not work well for me on stage or in life.   These types of personal choices were hindrances to me.  Because I refused to be vulnerable in life, I did not have the capacity to do so as a performer.  Pride and ego will not allow a person or a performer to show vulnerabilities needed to be relatable or believable.  Over time, as I became more comfortable and confident in myself, I became a better actor because I learned how to be transparent.  My goal in all of my creative work is to achieve an elevated level of truth so that the audience can connect to dimensional, believable characters and/or stories.